Blueberry Pie in the Heather Bush

Gretta and Bebe decided they best get on their way. Gretta's tummy was grumbling and mumbling and she felt a sleepy time coming on. She gave a big yawn as the two friends approached the prettiest forest of heather. Bebe had heard of Heather Bush Hideout that was tucked in the Heather forest. Gretta could not believe her eyes. She blinked and winked and rubbed her eyes...look at the purple heather! We must be getting close to Nowhere. The purple heather is a sure sign! The two friends scrambled under the heather and skipped through the forest. Gretta did her famous roll down the hill yelling yipppeeee as she tumbled and landed near a blueberry bush. Bebe decided to follow as they rolled and played and chased each other in the forest. Life was so fun on the road to Nowhere!

Oh look! Gretta from Gothere got on her tippie toes and peeked into the bramble berry hedge. Three little birds nests were nestled together as happy as can be. Bebe spotted the colored eggs first...my goodness, what a magical hideout this is!

The two crossed over the stream. Little blue and purple fish were swimming to their hearts content. Then they saw the sign...it was at the fork in the road. A very strong scent of blueberries was in the air. Gretta could hardly stand it. We must follow our nose! Should we go to Oz? To Here? To Fairyland? I see it cried Bebe...NOWHERE...turn right Gretta past that rock with moss on it...NOWHERE is this way!

Blueberry pie! I smell it cried Gretta! I smell pie! Off to NOWHERE they traveled following their nose, right to the bakery of BLUEBERRY BARB'S. Everything is coming up purple....they scurried over to the bakery and ordered Blueberry pie and blueberry tea for two!

Gee wiz, said Gretta. Mozes and Raccoon would love this place. I hope they are not too far behind!

Gretta smacked her lips as Bebe tipped her napkin to her lips and rubbed her tummy. I'm good to go Gretta...lets GO!

"Miss Moussie's Cirque de la Lune a Smash Hit, with One Moment of Lunacy."

Reprinted by Popular Demand from the Original Review
By Rattus Scribus, Critic at Large.

It would be broaching redundancy here to repeat yet more accolades for what is by now universally acclaimed to be a smashing success for Miss Moussie's Cirque de la Lune or Travelin' Show.

Miss Moussie's show electrifies, surprises, conjures childhood happinesses, sings with love long lost and regained, inspires the dream in all of us that anything is possible, and so what are we waiting for?

The juggling and trapeeze acts were a homage to the heights of creature coordination and agility.

I give extra marks to Mozes the bear for his courageous role which required he lay his manhood in the dirt, and wear a tutu. I understand, he bristled at first, saying, "This part is just not me." And Miss Moussie shot back: "You're an actor. Act like it IS you." The show went on, and that's what matters.

Let us be clear, however, that Joli's Can Can is not suitable for young children. But let us be equally clear that I couldn't care less, and that children had no business here tonight.

The Cirque de Lune had but one moment of Luncacy.

The grand show was slightly disrupted when my dear colleague and friend Tea Rat (who has long been utterly smitten by the beauty and poise of Miss Moussie) abandoned all decorum and vaulted upon the stage, babbling something which from my venue was virtually incoherent to me. He was properly forthwith ejected stage right.

I shall chalk up my companion's behavior to the unbridled exuberance of fandom, and turn the matter a positive one for the show.

For Miss Moussie has no fan anywhere in Nowhere, no devoted disciple, no conquered heart, greater than my Eros ensorceled friend, Tea Rat.

So, do I give "The Travelin' Show" paws up or paws down?

Absolutely, two paws up.

Three Cheers, a hoot, and a rrrrr.

Rattus Scribus

"Miss Moussie's Cirque de la Lune Exceeds All Expectations."

By Tea Rat, Critic at Large
(and Purveyor of Fine Teas)


Anticipation, so the dictionaries tell us, is the emotional and enthusiastic looking forward to a future pleasurable event. Ah! But will the event itself disappoint, or will it meet or even exceed expectations? That is a Gordian conundrum that even fabled Alexander could never have solved either by brain or brawn.

In such a state, I, accompanied by my dearest friend and colleague, Rattus Scribus, took my seat in the front balcony stage left just as the lights dimmed and nothing less than magic began.

The acrobatics of Bebe, Jasper, Gretta, Raccoon, and Mozes enthralled the entire audience. We cowed in fear for the safety of Gretta and Raccoon on the high wires. We utterly doubted our senses that the fabulous Bebe juggled no less than 13 balls at once. We laughed ourselves nearly to hospital at the sight of manly Mozes the bear in a pink tutu. And Joli's Can Can was simply scandalous, and we loved it so.

But I would be neanderthal in mind and manners if I continued this review without mentioning the crowning element of the evening.

Miss Moussie, from whom the show derives its fame and light -- as the first glorious flower in Eden derived its splendor from the new-made sun -- introduced and proctored the entire theatre production with beauty, grace, poise, and brilliant elocution.

It was the first time I had been in the same physical proximity of what is, quite simply, the brightest star in the thespian firmament, and whose fame and form I have followed and adored for years.

But I fear that in Miss Moussie's presence, I was like poor Icarus, who foolishly flew in wax and feathers too close to the sun.

For I was so overwhelmed in senses and emotion that I was compelled like a Dervish possessed to join the performers on stage. I repent of the act now. But I assure you, that moment of actually being in the magic, and afterward meeting Miss Moussie herself, will remain a highlight of my existence in this life and the next.

Miss Moussie's Cirque de la Lune or Travelin' Show did not merely meet my expectations. It surpassed, excelled and transcended my loftiest conceptions of the theatre. Indeed, I must now consider new descriptive paradigms altogether.

And the Divine Miss M? She eclipsed as the sun over this small terrestrial sphere all previous conceptions and expectations of feminine beauty and grace.

So, do I give Miss Moussie and her Travelin' Show two paws up as my fellow critic Rattus Scibus did? The question is of course rhetorical at this point.

The Hindu gods haven't enough arms to express my unqualified recommendation. Absolutely, paws up.

Cheers,
Tea Rat
Critic at Large
Purveyor of Fine Teas

---------------
Text by Rattus Scribus
http://rattusscribus.blogspot.com/
Art by Castles Crowns & Cottages
http://wwwcastlescrownscottages.blogspot.com/

Take Your Seats Please

So, like Tea Rat and Rattus with their opera glasses, you might want to click on all images to see the details of a night at the theatre.... "I say old man, where are your trousers? And that purple velvet cape, what were you thinking?" nervously chirped Rattus, as he contemplated the fact that this was Nowhere's first cultural event of the year and first impressions are of the utmost importance. "Old thing, tonight is a night to bring out one's best. LOOK! THERE'S THE PLAYBILL; let's dash over to be the first to see it. OH BOTHER! Where are my opera glasses...the print is quite small," said Tea Rat as he discretely inched his way closer to the playbill. With a tone of admiration and a quiver in his voice he read each word as if savoring every last morsel of a fine cheese: As they entered the gilded foyer, it was evident that Tea and Rattus were not the first patrons there; the interior of The Royal Theatre of Nowhere was buzzing with distinguished guests such as Miss Paisely, Mimi from Paris, Sherry from Phoenix, the lovely Tita, Racoon's trainer, and Martina, as well as Auntie Jackie from Fairyland and Penny. Quietly taking their seats at the balcony, the lights gently dimmed to announce the rise of the curtain...the music swelled as Tea suddenly hurled himself to the rim of the balcony, snatching Rattus's pince-nez, and forgetting all dignity. "MIND YOURSELF OLD MAN" hissed Rattus as discretely as possible. But it was too late for there was the Tea Rat, hanging over the balcony wailing, "THERE SHE IS...ISN'T SHE A PEACH? I HAVE WORSHIPED HER FOR YEARS..." As Miss Moussie gave the signal with her hand, the curtain rose even higher to reveal an enormous gilded moon slowly lowering itself that said: CIRQUE DE LA LUNE The musical number quickly changed to LE CAN-CAN as everyone held their breath; then suddenly, a loud roar erupted as none other than the lovely cabaret star JOLI came kickin'in! The house came DOWN! The front row of young mice could not contain themselves, but WAIT! If you think they got an eyeful with her entrance, think again! These boys are gonna have something to write home about after seeing Joli's spectacular ending! The dynamic juggling and clown duo of BEBE and Gretta kept the jovial rhythm spinning, when suddenly who else comes rollin'in? THE ILLUSTRIOUS MOZES,THE DANCING BEAR! The agility and grace doesn't stop here folks....JASPER THE KING OF THE DANCING POODLES has demonstrated extraordinary talents! And Gretta is back with RACCOON THE MAGNIFICENT AND HIS FLYING TRAPEZE to, OOPS.....HOLD ON TO RAC'S PAWS, GRETTA! Isn't she a pro? And now, for the grand fina-l.........uh, we seem to have a....WAIT! There appears to be a patron from the balcony who is now running down the main aisle, and...is now on stage and is bellowing, "WELCOME DISTINGUISHED GUESTS....I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS TIME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF...MY COLLEAGUE AND I ARE TONIGHT'S CRITICS... "Yes Sir, thank you very much but,..." said Bebe, dressed for her final number, as she gently nudged Tea Rat towards stage right... "I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW WONDERFU........." The orchestra took this as its cue to strike up the band for the final number and present all the magnificent players of Miss Moussie's Travelin' Show and bring a close to a most memorable evening in Nowhere. THE END Tea and Rattus decided to walk home under the silver sliver of the Nowhere moon. "That was a smashing show tonight, wouldn't you say old thing? We have much to write about for our critique tonight, don't we sir?" said Tea. "We certainly do, old man, we certainly do" whispered Rattus with a smile on his face. All text and pencil drawings by Castles Crowns and Cottages © Drawing of Miss Moussie by The Dutchess

Event of the Year !

Grab your hat and coat! Come early and get your tickets... This is one show you don't want to miss. It is the event of the year.. Everyone who is anyone will be here! So how many ticket would you like? One, two, three, fifty? Bebe's ticket booth will be open till the curtain goes up.. Hope to see everyone at the Royal Theatre to see the amazing ~ Miss Moussie's Travelin Show~
Bebe

A STITCH IN TIME

Gretta prepared for the journey. She looked over at Paisley Bunny who was adjusting her hat. I LUV that hat Paisley! Where did you buy that? Oh, said Paisley, I found the cutest shop once upon a time in Gothere. It was called A STITCH IN TIME. Oh yes, I just knew it! That was my very favorite shoppe in Gothere! The two knew they would be stitched together as friends forever! Gretta scurried over to the mulberry bush and pulled out her hat...Paisley Bunny squealed and hopped up and down...Gretta, you are the coolest hedgehog I've ever met! Lets get going! We need to go search for Tea Rat and Rattus. I know they are okay...My nose is twitching and it tells me so!

Paisley Bunny had a keen sense of going to Nowhere...her ears twitched, her nose twitched and Gretta spines perked up and off they went, past the mushroom garden and the daisy fields. These two lived their life, in living color...life was a happy adventure for the two new friends.

They were happy and they knew it! They went traveling on their merry way. Gretta gave a whistle for Raccoon who was long gone ahead of them...Paisley began to sing and Gretta joined in at the top of her lungs....A stitch in time, A stitch in time, friendship begins in a stitch in time. Mine oh, mine...this friend of mine..a stitch in time...

On solid ground..

Mozes stumbled out of the Pub...almost tripping over his own feet...oops,steady on old chap..he said to himself..
He took a deep breath....aaah ,fresh spring air...!
After all the commotion about the adventures of Rattus and Tea..Mozes needed some peace and quiet.
Sounds of hoots and RRR.'s..singing ,clanking ,and bubbling beer bubbles oozed out of the Pub...
Mozes sat himself down on the grass...well...I should say he kind of fell over...the force of gravity was very strong today.
While laying in the field Mozes gazed at the sky...How little we are..he whispered...and how big the universe...to big...one could get seriously lost...He was ever so happy his dear friends were back from OUT THERE....safe and sound..on solid ground....

Then suddenly a strange sound from down under creeped in to Mozes his ear..he never heard it before...He pressed his ear to the ground...Yes ,there it was again...something was IN THERE.....

Brother Act

Story by Ruben (of rattusscribus.blogspot.com).
Art by Anita (of castlescrownscottages.blogspot.com)

GOING DOWN...


Rattus: Tea, my dear, dear friend, I have something I must confess to you. I...

Tea: Not now old thing: survival, first order of the day, you know.

Rattus: Abandon ship! Every rat for himself!

Tea: ABANDON TO WHERE?! Grab everything and pitch it overboard. It will lighten our landing.

Rattus: You're right, you're right. (There go all our suitcases -- my favorite pajamas were in there.) Sorry, son, I lost my head. (And the picnic blankets. Gone.) I would never abandon my friends. (Sigh! All our books!) Surely you know that. (Ahhh! All our food!) Above all one's best frien... (Wait a minute! Not the flasks of wine and ale. Over my dead body!)

Tea: That will be true enough in about forty seconds; the ale or our lives? Are we really discussing this? May I?

Rattus: Oh, go ahead. We're dead rats anyway! (Farewell, thou sweet ambrosia.) Well the last thing is your knapsack of teas, including PG Tips. Overboard it goes...

Tea: NEVER! NOT WHILE THERE'S BREATH IN THIS RAT'S BODY! FREEZE! DON'T YOU DARE!

Rattus: Oh...I suppose we should not deny ourselves one last comfort...before the (choke) end.

(Twenty seconds)

Tea: I'll never forget you for this, Rattus. I mean saving the tea and all.

Rattus: I fear we will shortly be forgetting all.

(Fifteen seconds)

Tea: We've drifted so far. Where do you suppose we are?

Rattus: We've traveled well beyond Nowhere, that's for sure. We could have gone to way Over There, or, Heaven forbid, Out There. What do you think?

Tea: "Hail Mary, full of grace..."


Rattus: No, by thunder! I think ... Heaven help us ... I think we're about to crash completely outside of our beloved land of Nowhere and into Left Field. Let's just hope we're not in the Boondocks. That's the last place we want to be.

Tea: "...the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou amongst women..."

Rattus: Brace yourself, old thing! At least there are some trees. Maybe that will soften our…

"CUURRRRASSH! ... RRRIP! ... BUMPITY ... TEAR! ... BRRRAPITY ... SCRAPE! ... KERRPLUNKITY! ... SPLAT!"

..............

MEANWHILE BACK IN NOWHERE, Rattus and Tea's friends have been watching the dramatic tableau unfold from the ground below.


Mozes: Well, they're gone. They were good rats. Good mates. Funny as all He...

Gretta: No, no, no. They could still be alive. Oh, where do you think they went?

Raccoon: Careful Gretta, you know when you get excited, your spines can shoot out.

Mozes: You're right, Gretta. They're survivors, those two. Perhaps they ... That is, I mean I think they landed way out in Left Field.

Ms. Moussie: Then we simply have to go search for them.

Paisley Bunny: I'm in.

Bebe: Me and TJ will get to the plane and search from the air.

Mozes: It's settled then. Let's go get our boys back.

................

WAY OUT IN LEFT FIELD:

Rattus: Owwwww! My head!

Tea: I feel like I've been hit by a train.


Rattus: Our lovely blimp... everything is in ruins. Hah! But I see that even the cold bony hands of the Grim Reaper were insufficient to pry your tea-filled knapsack from your paws. I do believe that had you died, you would have taken it with you to the next life.

Tea: You'll be glad for my knapsack later. But for now: first order of business, you know. By the way, what were you going to confess to me?

Rattus: Confession? What confession, dear fellow? Oh, that. 'Twas mere panic-induced babble. Think no more about it! Besides, first order of business, you know. First order of business.

Tea: Hummm! I see. Well I'll accept that, for now. So where are we?

Rattus: I fear we are totally in Left Field. Where in the name of Tartarus do we begin?

Tea: With the first step, my dear fellow. With the first step.

----------------

AFTER THE RATS' ADVENTUROUS JOURNEY BACK TO NOWHERE (which is another long tail for another time) OUR BOYS ARRIVE AT THE PUB ON RABBIT HILL:


Rattus: Hello, lads! Me and my good companion here have stared down the face of death, and survived to tell you all the tale. Drinks all around! Ale for everyone!

Tea: Make mine tea. "P.G. Tips: Only fools..."

Rattus: Hrrrumph! Uh, my good rat?

Tea: Right. "P.G. Tips, sweet to the lips."

Rattus: Lads, once you've looked into the eyeless sockets of the Grim Reaper, the simplest ale is richer far than anything that came before. Cigar smoke is mountain air. And the company of good friends is the fellowship of the heavenly saints. To you, lads!

(CLINK)

ALL IN THE PUB: AND TO YOU, SIRS. HERE, HERE!

(CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK........)

Tea: Well spoken my dear fellow.

Rattus: Here's to you my good friend. Cheers.

Tea: And to you. Cheers.

(CLINK)

Home Home on the Range

Gretta was sittin' pretty up in the tree house that Raccoon built for her singing at the top of her lungs..."oh give me a home, where the Nowhere friends roam and the sky is not cloudy all day..." She could not believe her buddy and friend would make such a delightful tree house! He was out in the back woods hammering away on a dining room set because he wanted all his buds from Nowhere to come for dinner. Gretta went to the door and looked out and saw something falling from the sky....Rac...she gave a yell...is that a bird? Is that a plane? Is that a rat I saw? It looked like Rattus tail....I would recognize that distinguished tail anywhere! Was that blue coat tails? Rac? Mozes? I think that flying machine is coming down! Gretta went out to the deck and took the binocular spy glass off the branch...oh no...she felt a little woozzy...and boom, down she went...as she cried out Rattttussss......Tea...It cannot be! And she promptly fainted, four paws up!

Like A Lead Balloon

Rattus: I say old bean, isn't it time we landed this blimp, if for no other reason that there are no toilet facilities here? The tea is starting to -- let's just say -- demand things from my bodily processes.

Tea Rat: Quite right. And I've 6 cups of PG Tips in my belly.

Rattus: I've had 9, and they've long passed beyond the belly to the nether regions.

Tea: Righto! Where's that lever to lower this balloon?

Rattus: What do I know of blimps? Just find it quickly! My back teeth are floating.

Tea: Calm yourself dear fellow. Hysterics are unbecoming of an English Rat. Think of Gilbert and Sullivan. ♪ ♫..A - British - Tar - is - a - soaring - soul ♪ ♫....

Rattus: All I can think about is water. The seven seas, rain, babbling brooks, the sweat from my forehead.

Tea: ♪ ♫...His - energetic - fist - should - be - ready - to - resist - a...♪ ♫..

Rattus: THE LEVER?

Tea: ♪ ♫...dictatorial - word...♪ ♫.. Yes, yes. Alright. Here it is. Got it. Hurrrmph! Ahhh..arrrh! It won't budge.

Rattus: For the love of....In the name of Tartarus! Here, let me give it a pull.

Tea: Careful, son,....don't pull on it too hard...you might...

"SNAP!"



Tea: I say my good rat, is that the lever in your paw? You broke the ruddy thing, and now WE'RE GOING DOWN FAAS..........T!

............

Rattus: Tea, my dear friend, I fear we have come to our last in a long line of noble adventures. We're going down with the ship... er...blimp.

Tea: Rattus, old rat, you haven't given up already have you?

Rattus: Kaput!

Tea: Steady old fellow, we've been in fouler weather than this.

Rattus: ¡Arriunados!

Tea: Maybe we can dump things overboard to lighten this blimp and create a softer landing.

Rattus: Perdutos! Arrivederci!

Tea: Here now. What about that broken lever, can it be fixed?

Rattus: Mort et enterré!

Tea: Try stuffing the opening with something so the hot air doesn't escape so quickly. The ground's coming up fast.

Rattus: 死亡，逝去

Tea: I haven't the foggiest idea what you just said, but it can't be good.

Rattus: αργκό τελειωμένος

Tea: Rattus, old chap, I think your great learning has finally unhinged you.

Rattus: ممحتوم، مقدر

Tea: OK, how can a rat who knows a million languages not know a way to get us out of this mess?

Rattus: мёртвый

Tea: Hello! Earth to Rattus! Are we in our happy place? OK,OK! RATTUS, it's over. I fixed it. We're saved!

Rattus: Really?

Tea: No. But I need you to focus.

Rattus: We're dead rats. If this is the end, I fear it is time I confessed something to you.

Tea: Oh pour l'amour du ciel.....
------------------

Art by Anita (Castles Crowns & Cottages).
Story by Ruben (Rattus Scribus)

Live From 2000 Feet in the Air

THIS IS RATTUS BROADCASTING FROM THE LED ZEPPLIN, Introducing Miss Moussie's Travelin' Show, but first, a word from our sponsor: Drink PG Tips It's sweet on the lips! A cup in the morn a cup at dusk PG Tips tea SIMPLY A MUST! Thank you, Tea Rat....er, um...BRAVO! BRAVO! Well folks, there you have it; the Led Zepplin Blimp is much larger than you think; we have our own little broadcasting studio and theatre! And you ask, "When are these ninkumpoops going to land this thing? Well, uh hum...(we haven't figured that out yet!!) KEEP POSTED!

RACCOON to the RESCUE!

Sittin' up in the tree tops chewing on a piece of beef jerky Raccoon had a plan. He found a old metal bucket, hooked a good rope to it and yelled down to Gretta from Gothere...Never fear, dear girl, Rac is here! Hop in and I'll hoist ya up in the tree house.

Gretta lifted her skirt and climbed in and gave a whistle to Raccoon. Garbo had left early this morning back to Gothere. He was a come hither, go there type of a guy. He was fun, while he lasted and then off he went.

Gretta had some berries in her pocket to share with her long time friend Raccoon. She hoped there was a good soft bed with a good soft quilt to snuggle down for the night. Raccoon had worked night and day to build the tree house. He had searched for good wood to make it safe and sound for Gretta. He decided they needed a home base to come back to. The road to Nowhere lead no where it seemed.

Rac was greeted with a kiss on the cheek. He blushed and reached out to shake Gretta's paw in welcome as paw to paw...berry juice streamed down as they joined paws and Rac showed Gretta the tree house. The sign above the door made Gretta smile...It simply said...Home Sweet Tree house.

Friends fly free

Ooooooooooh, kiss the ground, kiss the ground, I am finally on the ground ! What a grand day this is. I can’t believe it, I am certified to fly a commercial and non-commercial poot poot, thanks to TJ Merryweather… All I have to do now is get this sign hung up and I am in business! Nails, nails, where did I put the nails…

I have missed all my friends... .I think I saw Gretta at the top of a large tree this morning and Miss Moussie was so kind as to invite me for tea… Dear Mozes was taking a nap so I could not tell him of my return but I did give him an ever so gentle kiss on the nose… I sure hope Rattus and Tea Rat land soon; I think they are just having too much fun up there broadcasting their little tea ditty. If I can get everyone together at one time, in one place, we can all enjoy the heavens… Oh my.. I will need a bigger poot poot !!!

Through the heavens

HELLO DOWN THERE.....ITS US..Rattus and Tea...Flying high...