One wants to wander away from the world’s some-wheres..
....................into our own nowhere.”

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Pretty in Pink

By Ruben Rivera©
(Cont. from comments)

Rattus: Hi Hazel, TeaRat, Bebe, what's that you're holding in your hands. Pink ribbon?

Hazel: Oh, that? Yeah, just some little old ribbon. Yess...♪ ♫...just some little harmlessss ♪ ♫ ribbonnnn..♪ ♫

TeaRat: ♪ ♫ Why don't you sssit ♪ ♫ down in the chair, old rat. Take a load offfff.♪ ♫ Make yoursssself ♪ ♫ comfortable. ..♪ ♫

Bebe: ♪ ♫ Yesss...♪ ♫ Rattusss...♪ ♫ ... Sssit...♪ ♫...down...♪ ♫

Rattus: Ok, you're all quite the creepy people aren't you? What is this, "Land of the Living Dead?"

Hazel: GRAB HIM. TIE HIM DOWN.

TeaRat: We have him. Bebe, tie the pink ribbon on him.

Hazel: Make him look real pretty!

Bebe: There! All done!

Rattus: YOU LET ME GO AND GET THIS RIBBON OFF ME THIS INSTANT!

TeaRat: ♪ ♫ Ah now we can ♪ ♫ eat our meal in peacccce.♪ ♫

Bebe: ♪ ♫ Yess...eat our ♪ ♫ mealll.♪ ♫

Hazel: ♪ ♫..Rattusss.♪ ♫ YOU are our mealll..♪ ♫

Bebe: ♪ ♫..I'll have a leggg..♪ ♫...Yesss♪ ♫

Hazel: ♪ ♫.I want...♪ ♫ breassst meat..♪ ♫

TeaRat: ♪ ♫..I get dibss..♪ ♫ on that magnificccent brain..♪ ♫

Rattus: AHHH! LET ME GO! YOU'RE ALL INSANE...LET ME GO I SAY...!

----

TeaRat: Wake up old rat. Wake up. You're having a bad dream. That's all.

Rattus: TeaRat, old friend. Bebe, Hazel. You're here too. Whew! What a terrible, terrible dream. I dreamt that you all turned into zombies and were trying to tie me up in this God-awful pink ribbon so that you could eat me. Isn't that silly?

Bebe: Yes...Silly

Hazel: Silly.

Rattus: TeaRat, Bebe, Hazel. What's that pink thing you've got in your hands....?

28 comments:

The Dutchess said...

HaHaaaaaaa..this was so funny...o my gosh...

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

TEEEEHEEE! Come on now old man, just yield up the ghost and admit it....you love pink. You love us. You love fun and there is NO turning away from it! YOU ARE TOPS! You look marvelous in pink, especially that Pink Lady apple in your muzzle....you might as well give up and give in....we love ya!!!!

Christel Hutson said...

ROFL....hahahah such a crazy dream, for a decidedly crazy old Rat! .."Me? Pink?" "never ..teehee ~ Hazel

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

I bet you won't get to sleep tonight old man.....I'll prepare some nice STRONG BLACK TEA for you old mate, and keep you up to avoid any further nightmares!!! But what was that pink stuff I saw rumpled up in your wardrobe? Any chance of a pink bonnet in the making? Come on now son, FESS UP! TEA

Ruben Rivera said...

Rattus: I don't think I'll ever see pink the same way again. Or apples for that matter. Or ribbon, or dinner plates, or...

TeaRat: Calm yourself old thing. It was all just a bad dream.

Rattus: OK. What's for lunch? I'm famished.

TeaRat: A marvelous brie with hints of lavender, Served with sliced Pink Lady apples and pink champagne.

Rattus: Ω¢µ¶∆§µ!!

TeaRat: GANGWAY!

Ruben Rivera said...

Rattus: No. No pink bonnets hidden in my chifforobe.

Tea: Your what?

Rattus: My CHIFFOROBE!

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

HAAAHAAAHAAA! What a HOOT! Hey Rattus... Are you quite sure that was just a dream? teehee
Bebe

Ruben Rivera said...

Everyone keeps telling me it was a dream -- nightmare more like. But then again, everyone still tries to get me to wear pink Easter bonnets. Sounds to me like I haven't awoken yet.
Rattus

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

I have a lampshade you can borrow Rattus! Would that do? Orrrrrrrrrr, you can zip over to mums and come to the Luau! Bring a coconut would you?
Bebe

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

AHHHHHHH! Now I can SEE the drawing Ruben.. Earlier it was just a blank box that I saw.
GREAT DRAWING!!! Poor Rattus... All wound up in PINK! teeheee
Penny

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

LET'S GO TO THE LUAU!!!! Let's ALL get in a grass skirt like BEBE!!!! TEA RAT....hmmmmmm.....I like grass skirts too! NOT A WORD OUT OF YOU RATTUS!!!! I just love to partaay, as they say in America!

The Dutchess said...

Yeeee..partaay in pink...I can do that..
Speciality tonight..pink ribboned delight!!...Mix Mix..tosh tosh..mix..mix..tosh tosh..and voila..Bon appetit..:)

Christel Hutson said...

what a fun post these past couple have been. Both have been coupled with wonderful illustration ~ Christel

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Then let us follow suit with Bebe's Luau idea...any grass skirts in your CHIFFAROBE, RATTUS? COme on now son, FESS UP! You know you love to shake your bum every so often and PARTAAAAYYY! Tea Rat

Ruben Rivera said...

Alright, alright. Let it never be said that Rattus C. Scribus was a spoil sport. I'll wear the grass skirt, as the males of the islands that have luau feasts wear them in keeping with their cultural norms. BUT NO PINK BONNETS.

Rattus

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

YIPEEE! Then to the drawing board it is for TEA RAT....let's see....you shall sport a lovely grass skirt....

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

Get the camera out.. This I have to capture on film.. Rattus in his grass skirt! Yipeeeeeeeeeeee
Bebe

Ruben Rivera said...

What's going on here? You all like to dress up male rats in female clothing. Things have really changed in Nowhere since I was budding rat.

Rattus

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

Ok Rattus..... Would a black suit and tie do? Of course you will need to find some snappy SOCKS!
Bebe

Ruben Rivera said...

Oh, a dark tweed suit (with matching vest of course) would be just splendid.

I know just the place to find an appropriate ascot and foot stockings.

Thank the stars that someone understands the dignity with which a rat should comport himself.

These are not matters small.

Rattus Scribus

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

But even a dignified rat has to shake his bum once in a while!!!

Ruben Rivera said...

My dear Lady,

I can't say as I like the derogatory term "bum," but why on earth would I walk up to some forlorn, destitute individual on the street and shake him?

Would we not be the most uncharitable of creatures if we added, to his misfortune of poverty, violent harassment?

No, a dignified rat most definitely does not go about shaking "bums" as you put it.

Sincerely,
Rattus

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Old man, you need a dictionary of the vernacular...where have you been, son? TEA RAT

Ruben Rivera said...

Hummm. Let's see now.

"Bum": (noun), British slang, "buttocks."

Used in colloquial expressions, such as: (a) "He's speaking out of his bum" (He doesn't know what he's talking about); or (b) to "shake one's bum" (to dance; discard inhibitions; throw caution to the wind; live with abandon; party).

I understand now, Tea old thing. I heartily agree that there is a time for everything, including to relax and party.

After all, who knows how to party more than we rats, eh?

Rattus

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

THERE YOU GO....see how useful a dictionary is old thing? NOW ARE YOU READY and BOLD ENOUGH to wear a grass skirt and join Bebe in BLUE HAWAII? ARE YOU WILLING TO SHAKE YOUR BUM? That is where the rubber meets the road Rattus...are you a REAL PARTY RAT? Tea Rat

Ruben Rivera said...

Grass skirts? Sure. The males of HI-WHY-HEE wear them. "When in Rome" and all that, you know.

Shake the bum? Sure. You first.

Rattus

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

Stop, stop!! Your killing me...TOO FUNNY!!! HAAHAAAAAAAAA
Bebe

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Don't forget to breath dearest Penny! Let's see if I can get Rattus dressed in his grass skirt before the day escapes me....Anita