Welcome traveler...

..for those who seek stranger worlds..

Saturday, June 30, 2012

TEA RAT! Over here!!!!

Tea Rat! I know you have paid a hansome price for Nelly, but do you think you could get a REFUND?
I found you a much smaller elephant.. SEE? He is very young and only weighs 230 pounds… That‘s ok right? .Rattus might be willing to let you bring this one back home… He is not as large as Nelly…
Look up in the sky… See the hot air balloons? I have hired help to bring us ALL home… Well, unless you plan on staying awhile… If you want my vote I say let’s stay here on our Safari!


Castles Crowns and Cottages said...


Oh, you have a splendid IDEA here! I love your mind, I love your clothes, I love your shoes......

OK, I think this elephant is JUST PERFECT for me. He only weighs a FRACTION of what Rattus calculated an elephant would weigh and he can't eat THAT MUCH???

This is the plan. Let's stay on the safari for the ENTIRE SUMMER and see if this fellow gets any larger. If he stays the same, we will take him home straight away, in the hot air balloons. IF he grows, we need to butter up Rattus...you know how he is....



Angelsdoor * Penny said...

Oh HAPPY DAY!!I told him about you... He said he would love to come home with you, as long as Rattus does not boot him out! I will keep him on a good diet and we will do alot of walking through the jungle to keep him in shape...

Ruben Rivera said...

Rattus: My dear Tea Rat, I must agree with Bebe that you should get your refund for Nelly while you still can. She is a sweet elephant but she will not even be able to enter the door to Witsend Cottage.

Tea Rat: Well how about a 230 pound pygmy elephant?

Rattus: Cute. Very cute. And Bebe does look ravishing on her back...Those dreamy eyes and fluttering eye lashes; the rosy peach cheeks...

Tea Rat: Your drifting, old thing. Pull yourself together.

Rattus: Right. Right. Well a pygmy elephant is clearly more reasonable, but how will she ever travel all the way to our cottage here in Nowhere?

Tea Rat: Easy. Elephants are packy-derms and have their own trunks.

Rattus: Very funny. But wherever will she...?

Tea Rat: Wherever will she what?

Rattus: Where will she... you know..perform her daily ablutions?

Tea Rat: Oh, you mean, ascend the throne? Drop the skivvies in the privy? Dump the trunk? Poop the deck? Convene in the latrine? Break bread in the head? Explode the commode...?

Rattus: TEA RAT! Have you lost your senses?

Tea Rat: Oh, loosen up, old thing. Have some fun. Unbuckle that corset.

Rattus: Don't be so vulgar. Back to the elephant. Where does a 230 pound elephant sit?

Tea Rat: Oh, oh, I know that joke! Where does an elephant sit? Any where they want.

Rattus: Stop clowning around. This is serious. Will we even get along with an elephant? For example, does she play any games?

Tea Rat: Sure she does. Squash. She's great at squash. Tee, hee, hee, hee. Squash. Get it?....Wait...Where are you going?

Rattus: To see my analyst.

Tea Rat: Oh, you see an analyst?

Rattus: Yeah...but only for about 10 years. I'm giving him one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.

Tea Rat: Woody Allen, "Annie Hall," 1977.

Rattus: Cheesus!

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

HAAAAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! OH my dear Rattus... You are truly one of a kind !

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Tea Rat: MMUNCH, CCRUNCH...I AM RELISHING in this fine dinner you have prepared for us Rattus, BUT I WILL BE BACK LATER WITH MORE! teeehee

The Dutchess said...

Its in the middle of the night on the Hilltop and I can not stop laughing....see me siiting here in the dark by the light of the comp and having sooooooo much fun..

Thank you dear Bebe for this wonderful drawing and thank you dear Rattus for your wit...

Now the little Moussie is checking out to search for her nest...Sleepwell...x

Palomasea said...

Hilarious...thank you for this much needed pick me up tonight, dear friends.
Big hugs,
- Irina

catkin tales said...

this has brought about an elephant sized laugh... teehee...what fun is had here :) this is such a sweet, beautiful elephant. also i am thinking that doesn't this sort of elephant possess flying ears? those ears do look rather flappy. i am sure a flying elephant is a very useful thing to have about the place, don't you think?
oh a safari sounds like fun! i'll definitely stick around for that.

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

FLYING EARS! Now that would save fuel... I must ask him if he can fly.
Note to self... Find your goggles..

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

TEA RAT: WELL, THEN LET'S GO!!! OK, Rattus, do you see this? Do you hear this? If I can, I can have NELLY AND THIS ELEPHANT because Nelly is equipped with flying ears! And if she has to do her oblutions (whatever you said up there) then she can just fly to the dump!!!

COME ON NOW RATTUS, what do ya say old man??????

Ruben Rivera said...

Tea Rat: Hey Rattus, Nelly is a flying pygmy elephant, so she can perform her ablutions in the air.

Rattus: Yeah, great, like the government used to test H-bombs in the atmosphere. You ever hear of fallout?

Tea Rat: Boy, there's just no satisfying you, bucko. OK, she can do it over the ocean.

Rattus: Great! Beautiful! Hello glowing, mutant, two-head cannibalistic vampire fish!

Tea Rat: Well, where do you suggest she do the deed? Her splendor in the grass? Bronc the bull? Shake the shack? Let loose the dogs of war? Shiver mi timbers...

Rattus: Ahhhhh! I'm going to Lourdes.

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

Tea Rat! So now you wish to have BOTH elephants??? Oh My... Well. if they can both fly home this might do.. BUT! I must agree with Rattus you see... You know, about the ablutions.. Hmmmmm, ablutions, ablutions, what is this ablutions?
Here, I have dictonary in hand..

plural noun washing, bathing, wash, bath, showering, TOILET, cleansing, scrubbing, purification.
.... NO, This will not do..
Do they make elephant diapers?

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...


WELL Bebe, Nelly is a very intelligent elephant and this little pygmy your picked up is very young, so I can train her....I WANT MY ELEPHANTS....oh dear.....there is one word in the English language I do not like:


I actually do not understand it.....does anyone have a GOOD DEFINITION of NO? I refuse to listen to this word! teeeheee

Angelsdoor * Penny said...

How about NOPE or NAY?
Note to self.. Do not use the N word around Tea Rat! teehee

Oh a good note... I ran into a very nice lion today... He has been giving me a tour of the jungle.. His fur is sooooo soft and he is quite a handsome fellow.
He has asked to come home with you and Rattus also.. What do you think?

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

TEA RAT: WHOAH!!!!!!!!!!!! A LION? Hmmmmm...Rattus always liked cats....here kitty kitty.....HEY RATTUS, YOU HEAR THAT OLD THING? SPLENDID IDEA BEBE....maybe if I show Rattus that he can have a kitty, I can keep the two elephants...and NOPE, NAY???? O.K., sounds good to me.


catkin tales said...

the trouble with lions is that they like to rule. we have a miniature lion in our house that we all have to tiptoe around. imagine if he where a full size lion.. he might even decide to have us for supper! (although probably not because he's terribly fussy about what he eats) what i'm trying to say is that lions can be a bit tricky temperament wise, they can be all charm and grace one minute and then suddenly swipe and rawwwwwrrrrrr!!!!!!!
although there are exceptions, very rare exeptions but exceptions none the less, these exceptions are very special lions that are cousins of one you may have heard of that lived in the land beyond spare oom and they are known as tea lions (not the ones that are thrown buckets of fish from the paddle boat at longleat, they are a different sort of lion with a similar name). when i say they, i really mean 'he' because it is thought that only one exists.. the magnificent tea lion known as tisane! could it be that bebe has bumped into tisane himself?

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

Teat Rat: Oooooo, who is that TISANE! I MUST LOOK INTO THIS FURTHER for this has the flavor of a special TEA BLEND....

crazylady said...

I love the face of the elephant!