Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Like A Lead Balloon
Rattus: I say old bean, isn't it time we landed this blimp, if for no other reason that there are no toilet facilities here? The tea is starting to -- let's just say -- demand things from my bodily processes.
Tea Rat: Quite right. And I've 6 cups of PG Tips in my belly.
Rattus: I've had 9, and they've long passed beyond the belly to the nether regions.
Tea: Righto! Where's that lever to lower this balloon?
Rattus: What do I know of blimps? Just find it quickly! My back teeth are floating.
Tea: Calm yourself dear fellow. Hysterics are unbecoming of an English Rat. Think of Gilbert and Sullivan. ♪ ♫..A - British - Tar - is - a - soaring - soul ♪ ♫....
Rattus: All I can think about is water. The seven seas, rain, babbling brooks, the sweat from my forehead.
Tea: ♪ ♫...His - energetic - fist - should - be - ready - to - resist - a...♪ ♫..
Rattus: THE LEVER?
Tea: ♪ ♫...dictatorial - word...♪ ♫.. Yes, yes. Alright. Here it is. Got it. Hurrrmph! Ahhh..arrrh! It won't budge.
Rattus: For the love of....In the name of Tartarus! Here, let me give it a pull.
Tea: Careful, son,....don't pull on it too hard...you might...
Tea: I say my good rat, is that the lever in your paw? You broke the ruddy thing, and now WE'RE GOING DOWN FAAS..........T!
Rattus: Tea, my dear friend, I fear we have come to our last in a long line of noble adventures. We're going down with the ship... er...blimp.
Tea: Rattus, old rat, you haven't given up already have you?
Tea: Steady old fellow, we've been in fouler weather than this.
Tea: Maybe we can dump things overboard to lighten this blimp and create a softer landing.
Rattus: Perdutos! Arrivederci!
Tea: Here now. What about that broken lever, can it be fixed?
Rattus: Mort et enterré!
Tea: Try stuffing the opening with something so the hot air doesn't escape so quickly. The ground's coming up fast.
Tea: I haven't the foggiest idea what you just said, but it can't be good.
Rattus: αργκό τελειωμένος
Tea: Rattus, old chap, I think your great learning has finally unhinged you.
Rattus: ممحتوم، مقدر
Tea: OK, how can a rat who knows a million languages not know a way to get us out of this mess?
Tea: Hello! Earth to Rattus! Are we in our happy place? OK,OK! RATTUS, it's over. I fixed it. We're saved!
Tea: No. But I need you to focus.
Rattus: We're dead rats. If this is the end, I fear it is time I confessed something to you.
Tea: Oh pour l'amour du ciel.....
Art by Anita (Castles Crowns & Cottages).
Story by Ruben (Rattus Scribus)