Tea Rat: Hey Rattus, did you hear the joke about the politicians who played chess against each other? Rattus: No, I haven't. Tea Rat: Two politicians where playing chess on live TV. One was named Jack and the other was named Joe. With the whole world watching, and in only 5 moves, Jack beat Joe. Rattus: What a humiliating defeat for Joe. I take it that Jack won the election? Tea Rat: No. Joe won the election. Rattus: But that's crazy,and not the slightest bit funny. Tea Rat: I didn't say it would be funny. I said it was a joke. Rattus: Touché.Tea Rat: Checkmate.
Tea Rat: Now who is the one that lost, old thing? Who was watching EVERY MOVE, AY???? TEA HE HE HE HE HE
Tea Rat: Bricka bracka fire-cracker, sis-boom-bah. Tea Rat, Tea Rat, rah, rah, rah. Rattus: Oh, gloating are we? Remember, son, pride comes before a fall. Tea Rat: You're right. You're right. Rattus: 'course I'm right.Tea Rat: Boola Boola. Boola Boola. He don't want to play us anymore.We'll roll the score up so very high,that you'll hear Rattus softly sigh,Boola BoolaBoola Boola
May I play, may I play????I love chess.. I have a real good poker face, is that what you call it? But you need to do something with that CAT under there. I have a fear of heights and cats!Love,Bebe
Rattus: Ha, ha, ha. You sure do have a such a sweet poker face. Of course you play. I'll see what I do about that cat. TEA RAT! Fetch me the bazooka!
TEA RAT: ANYTHING TO PROTECT OUR WOMEN AND CHILDREN! I HAVE THE BAZOOKA HERE, SON! I'M READY....just pat me on the head and I'll blow 'er steady and get rid of the CAT!!!RATTUS: Hold on here old thing, we're not making a western here.....
OH NO NO! NOT THE BAZOOKA! Don't hurt the little cat!!!! Just get RID of him.. Tell him there is a FOOD down the road... teeeeee BEBE
TEA RAT: Oh, forgive me dearest Bebe....I do get carried away....fine. "I won't wake the cat..."Rattus: Oh fine, now you're imitating that pig, BABE...What's next? Mr. ED??
You are all so funny..loved this..!!
Rattus: Tea Rat, Bebe doesn't want us to hurt the cat, so no bazooka. She just wants us to get rid of him.Tea Rat: No guns?Rattus: No.Tea Rat: Knives, garrotting, poisoning...Rattus: No.Tea Rat: Not even brass knuckles?Rattus: Stop that.Tea Rat: "Get rid of him" without hurting him, humm? How about I cast a spell on him so he thinks he's the rat and we the cats? That will make him split.Rattus: You can do that?Tea Rat: Of course not. What do you think this is, fantasy where animals can talk and magic spells grow on trees and cats and mice are best friends.Rattus: You're breaching the fourth wall again.Tea Rat: Oh, alright. I'll just smash the cat on the head...Rattus: Hurrumph!Tea Rat: I mean tap the cat on his sweet little noodle, and dump his body....Rattus: Hurrumph!Tea Rat: I mean lay the sweet little feller down gently in a verdant field, where he can rot till doomsday....Rattus: Take it easy. We're not making a Western here.
Tea Rat: Well then, son, what is holding us BACK from making a western?? I HAVE MY SIX SHOOTERS FROM THAT TIME WITH THE GUY AND THE PLACE AND THE THING.....remember?
Rattus: Careful, son. Or they'll be carving your tombstone: Here lies a rat who hated a cat.Pulled out his pistols at the drop of hat.Here he lies, ain't much to look at.
Tea Rat: Oh dear... how horrid.....O.K., we'll keep the cat.....
Maybe we should make a western here in the wild, wild west of Nowhere!
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