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| Penny White felted animals
PRESENTLY
Tea Rat: Where is he? Where is my friend? WHERE HAVE YOU PUT
HIM?
Nurse #1: Calm yourself. I'll sort
it out. Where is who? (Lovely flowers by the way.)
Tea Rat: Don't play coy with me.
WHERE IS HE?
Nurse #1: Sir, I assure you, I'm not
playing coy with....
Tea Rat: WHERE IS...? Oh, really?
Why not?...I mean...WHERE IS HE?
Nurse #1: Who?
Tea Rat: You know who. Rattus
Scribus, my dearest friend in the wide world. I was told he was in hospital.
I've come with flowers and an ocean of sympathy. Now where is he? If anyone's
harmed him....
Nurse #1: Nurse #2, call the doctor.
This rat is getting out of control. (Lovely flowers notwithstanding.)
Nurse #2: I'm on it. (Yes, lovely flowers.
I can see that.)
LATER
Doctor: Calm yourself. May I help you? (Lovely flowers by
the way.)
Tea Rat: What is this? Tales from
the Dark Side? I already told Nurse #1. I'm here to see my friend, Rattus.
Doctor: Yes, yes. "With flowers
and an ocean of sympathy". But Rattus who?
Tea Rat: Cheese and crackers! This
is a small village hospital of at most 10 beds. How many Rattuses can you have
here? RATTUS! RATTUS! Look it up, you bureaucratic clot?
Doctor: Nurse #2, call security.
This rat is getting out of control. (Lovely flowers notwithstanding.)
LATER STILL
Security: Calm yourself. May I help you? (Lovely flowers by
the way.)
Tea Rat: Cheesus! Is this a hospital or a looney bin? RATTUS!
RATTUS, WHERE ARE YOU...?
Rattus: I'm here old fellow, right here.
Nurse #1: Yes, he's right there. (Lovely flowers.)
Nurse #2: (Yes, lovely.)
Doctor: Right there. (Lovely.)
Security: Calm yourself. (Lovely
flowers by the...)
Tea Rat: Will everyone please stop?
[Enters room] Rattus, my dear rat, I've found you at last. The most logical, level-headed fellow I know. Are you all right? If they've harmed....
Rattus: Calm yourself. (Lovely flowers by the way.)
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Welcome traveler...
..for those who seek magical worlds..
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Lovely Flowers
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39 comments:
Tea Rat: Old man, if I sat here and told you about the hoops of fire I had to jump through, the clots I had to speak with and the miles of snow-laden alleys I had to trudge through to get to you, you'd be so proud of me.
Rattus: I'm already proud of you, son. Dr. White has performed the most elegant of surgical procedures, lengthening my arms to the appropriate length so that when you act the clot, I will be able to reach with my newspaper in hand and clobber you one!
Tea Rat: Ahhh...that's mi man; back to your old self! CHEERS!
Oooo My Goodness..what happened...and are you feeling OK now..and, Ah Nice flowers by the way..are you able to go home soon...?
Hahaa..clobber you one..:)
And,by the way,lovely works of art dearest Penny!
Tea Rat: Ah! Dearest Dutchess....thank you for coming to hospital to visit with Rattus. Dr. White has been working on Rattus's arms and performed the most impressive surgery on his wire armature, I MEAN....arms...May I inquire, did you bring the Divine Miss Moussie?
Rattus: Oh you clot, let the Dutchess sit down next to me. Pull up a chair our dearest Dutchess.
Tea Rat: How ever did you get past those nurses?!
I brought some cookies...the imaginary kind..always does the trick!
Tea Rat: COOKIES? Then I shall provide the tea...but how on Nowhere's earth will I smuggle the tea pot past Nurse RATchet?
P.A. System:
CALLING DR. WHITE to room 212!
Dr White here... May I be of assistance? (Lovely flowers by the way)
Not to worry, Rattus will be just fine.. A little nip here, tuck there, stitch here, you know the drill, he will be on his way to recovery.
p.s. WHAT A HOOT! HAAAAAAA HAAAA You two are something... Thank you dear friends.
Penny
Rattus: Thank you Doc. You're the best. By the way, can someone get me some tobacco and put it in my pipe to smoke? I've had double arm surgery, you know.
Tea Rat: Tobacco? Cheese and crackers, wouldn't you rather have some water?
Rattus: I can't smoke water.
TEA RAT: Dr. White, let's get your opinion....after having double arm surgery, would it be wise to smoke?
Rattus: I don't smoke because it's wise. You want wise? Buy a robe and go to Tibet.
Tea Rat: You are forgetting son, that I don't wear clothes. SO THERE! Doctor White, calling Doctor White!
Dr. White here..
GOOD GRIEF man, NO smoking ! Have you completely lost your senses?
Try some tea to calm your nerves.
Tea Rat: THANK YOU! FINALLY, the voice of WISDOM! Ya hear that Rattus? Follow the doctor's orders and DRINK TEA! See, I told you tea is the remedy for everything and...
RATTUS: Alright already; enough with the lecture! NURSE! NURSE! Bring me a pot of tea. If tea is the remedy for everything, maybe it will keep you quiet!
Tea Rat: Ah...I've won!
RATTUS: Oooh! My arms. The surgery.. I...I don't think I...I'm going to...I'm seeing tiny light...at the end... of a long tunnel. Pops...I'm coming home. If only my friends would let me...have...have just one more smoke before I...I depart...this mortal coil. What a world. What a world...where a dying rat can't even have a last wish...one lousy smoke before they punch my ticket.
Nurse Hildabrower here. The tea is very hot, so sip slow Rattus. By the way, Dr. White has asked me to tell YOU to give ME your pipe.. Just to be safe... Hospital rules in all, you know?
(Lovely flowers by the way)
TEA RAT: Rattus....that light? It's just Dr. White shining her pocket light into your eyes to check your pupils. You are in top form, son....so NO TOBACCO! Ha....punch your ticket...CHEESH!
Get a grip on yourself Rattus!
You are not going to punch your ticket as it were.
Nurse Hildabrower
Tea Rat: EXCELLENT. Thank you Nurse Hildabrower! Give the nice nurse your pipe, Rattus. I'm staying here, like a piece of furniture, until you get well!
RATTUS: Crikey! You ever have both arms removed at the upper biceps? Huh? Ever have a bunch of wire shoved up the stumpy pulpy ends? Hah? Ever have reconstructive surgery done from scratch? No sleeping gas? No morphine? Not even a lousy smoke?
Tea Rat: That does it. I'm putting on my nurse hat and bringing out my nursing license and taking the night shift here. NURSE TEA RATchet, on DUTY!
RATTUS: Nurse, oh Nurse RATchett? Can you hand me those smokes?
Nurse RATchet: Morphine Schmorphine! Smoke Schmoke! How about a sedative for the night and give us a break! There you go, a real head nurse on duty now!
RATTUS: Funny you should say "sedative" because the brand that I smoke is called Sedative Lights. SO LIGHT ME UP A SEDATIVE ALREADY!
Clearly there was something in the tea...
HAHAHHAHHA!!!!!!!!! Yes dearest, I believe there was. We had so much FUN today! Now for a nice pot of tea and a night of watching the Beatles Anthology!
Thank you for the laughs! Great fun!!!!
Love,
Bebe. Nurse Hildabrower, Doctor White and mum
And thank YOU Bebe, Nurse H., Dr. White and mum! Your art has made this a fun day. LOVE!
I must say Tea Rat dear fellow, you are looking quite dapper, what with those lovely flowers in hand! Dear Rattus old man, you aren't feeling well? I'm sure TeaRats lovely flowers will brighten your road to recovery! You are looking splendid by the way! XOXOX Hazel
Dear Hazel. Your words are like an analgesic to my poor surgery-pained arms. But Doctor White has performed a miraculous operation and I am due to recover splendidly
Rattus
Oh and can someone please hand my my tobacco and pipe?
Nurse TEARATchet: Time for your enema, sir. Roll over please....
Rattus: Would someone please do me the kindness of explaining what in the name of Tartarus does an enema have to do with recovering from arm surgery? A nice pipeful of lavender-scented tobacco? Now that's a post-op treatment I can live with. But I'll not roll over for anybody. Now get my smoke or GET OUT!
Nurse TEARATchet: It's procedure sir - tobacco is NOT only unhealthy for the patients around you, but for the health of your circulatory system; smoking with only constrict your blood vessels and an enema will do you good....now ROLL 'EM!!!!!!!!
Dear Rattus, you aren't looking at all ill! In all that time to find you, I daresay you had time to improve!
So much fun to come visit ... lovely flowers by the way.
Rattus you brave soul, arm surgery, oh my. So glad you are completely recovered and back together with Tea Rat in playful antics.
XOXO,
Vera
Tea Rat: Good morning, Miss Vera! Tea Rat here....aren't those lovely flowers? teeheeee
My colleague Rattus is recovering splendidly here at Witsend and tea time has been of great help. Elevensies, high tea, goûter, snack time, supper time, night cap time, and then the cycle starts up again.
When are you free to take some tea with me?
Rattus, perhaps the smoke from a different kind of pipe will help. But BEWARE!!! The side effects may cause an overwhelming, ravenous craving to devour multiple boxes of crackers and a few bricks of cheese! hahahaha (Lovely flowers by the way)
This is a hoot you guys!!!! :) Happy Friday Everyone!
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