Art by Anita (of castlescrownscottages.blogspot.com)
GOING DOWN...
Rattus: Tea, my dear, dear friend, I have something I must confess to you. I...
Tea: Not now old thing: survival, first order of the day, you know.
Rattus: Abandon ship! Every rat for himself!
Tea: ABANDON TO WHERE?! Grab everything and pitch it overboard. It will lighten our landing.
Rattus: You're right, you're right. (There go all our suitcases -- my favorite pajamas were in there.) Sorry, son, I lost my head. (And the picnic blankets. Gone.) I would never abandon my friends. (Sigh! All our books!) Surely you know that. (Ahhh! All our food!) Above all one's best frien... (Wait a minute! Not the flasks of wine and ale. Over my dead body!)
Tea: That will be true enough in about forty seconds; the ale or our lives? Are we really discussing this? May I?
Rattus: Oh, go ahead. We're dead rats anyway! (Farewell, thou sweet ambrosia.) Well the last thing is your knapsack of teas, including PG Tips. Overboard it goes...
Tea: NEVER! NOT WHILE THERE'S BREATH IN THIS RAT'S BODY! FREEZE! DON'T YOU DARE!
Rattus: Oh...I suppose we should not deny ourselves one last comfort...before the (choke) end.
(Twenty seconds)
Tea: I'll never forget you for this, Rattus. I mean saving the tea and all.
Rattus: I fear we will shortly be forgetting all.
(Fifteen seconds)
Tea: We've drifted so far. Where do you suppose we are?
Rattus: We've traveled well beyond Nowhere, that's for sure. We could have gone to way Over There, or, Heaven forbid, Out There. What do you think?
Tea: "Hail Mary, full of grace..."
Rattus: No, by thunder! I think ... Heaven help us ... I think we're about to crash completely outside of our beloved land of Nowhere and into Left Field. Let's just hope we're not in the Boondocks. That's the last place we want to be.
Tea: "...the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou amongst women..."
Rattus: Brace yourself, old thing! At least there are some trees. Maybe that will soften our…
"CUURRRRASSH! ... RRRIP! ... BUMPITY ... TEAR! ... BRRRAPITY ... SCRAPE! ... KERRPLUNKITY! ... SPLAT!"
..............
MEANWHILE BACK IN NOWHERE, Rattus and Tea's friends have been watching the dramatic tableau unfold from the ground below.
Mozes: Well, they're gone. They were good rats. Good mates. Funny as all He...
Gretta: No, no, no. They could still be alive. Oh, where do you think they went?
Raccoon: Careful Gretta, you know when you get excited, your spines can shoot out.
Mozes: You're right, Gretta. They're survivors, those two. Perhaps they ... That is, I mean I think they landed way out in Left Field.
Ms. Moussie: Then we simply have to go search for them.
Paisley Bunny: I'm in.
Bebe: Me and TJ will get to the plane and search from the air.
Mozes: It's settled then. Let's go get our boys back.
................
WAY OUT IN LEFT FIELD:
Rattus: Owwwww! My head!
Tea: I feel like I've been hit by a train.
Rattus: Our lovely blimp... everything is in ruins. Hah! But I see that even the cold bony hands of the Grim Reaper were insufficient to pry your tea-filled knapsack from your paws. I do believe that had you died, you would have taken it with you to the next life.
Tea: You'll be glad for my knapsack later. But for now: first order of business, you know. By the way, what were you going to confess to me?
Rattus: Confession? What confession, dear fellow? Oh, that. 'Twas mere panic-induced babble. Think no more about it! Besides, first order of business, you know. First order of business.
Tea: Hummm! I see. Well I'll accept that, for now. So where are we?
Rattus: I fear we are totally in Left Field. Where in the name of Tartarus do we begin?
Tea: With the first step, my dear fellow. With the first step.
----------------
AFTER THE RATS' ADVENTUROUS JOURNEY BACK TO NOWHERE (which is another long tail for another time) OUR BOYS ARRIVE AT THE PUB ON RABBIT HILL:
Rattus: Hello, lads! Me and my good companion here have stared down the face of death, and survived to tell you all the tale. Drinks all around! Ale for everyone!
Tea: Make mine tea. "P.G. Tips: Only fools..."
Rattus: Hrrrumph! Uh, my good rat?
Tea: Right. "P.G. Tips, sweet to the lips."
Rattus: Lads, once you've looked into the eyeless sockets of the Grim Reaper, the simplest ale is richer far than anything that came before. Cigar smoke is mountain air. And the company of good friends is the fellowship of the heavenly saints. To you, lads!
(CLINK)
ALL IN THE PUB: AND TO YOU, SIRS. HERE, HERE!
(CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK........)
Tea: Well spoken my dear fellow.
Rattus: Here's to you my good friend. Cheers.
Tea: And to you. Cheers.
(CLINK)
9 comments:
To a wonderful team...CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK, CLINK...may you write, draw, and have this much fun together ALWAYS...I'll buy your first book...;)))
Big HUG.....from a small Moussie
Oh My Goodness Gracious My Friend...
It figures (Clink, CLink, CLink) there were be a Pub somewhere out in left field. Definitely a man writer Ruben, my friend. I love it. He did not let go of his little knapsack, and when they crashed, I loved the picture of one boot on, one boot off, and his little glasses all distorted. So preciours. Did Anita do the artwork? I love it.
Will their little friends find them somewhere out in left field? Hopefully little Greta will hold it together and not "spine" anyone. That could be a "sticky" situation. Oh my.
You two are the BEST team ever. One writes, one draws. I love it. Thank you my precious friends for sharing with me. I so love it when you do. Country hugs sweetie(s) and much love, Sherry
BRAVO!!!! BRAVO!!!!!! Can't get any better than this... clap, Clap clap, clap!!! You two are on a roll... I love it...
I will go tell Bebe she is going to have a long wait outside.. I think she went around to the back door of the pub...
I will be standing right behind Dutchess for my book.... I will take two please...
Bravo, Bravo! clink clink clink!
I am in awe of the two of you! What a partnership of love and talent you share - you compliment each other so beautifully- how perfect is that! I'll be in line here to buy this book, only if you sign it for me! Just amazing!!!!!! love u, deb
I have been showing my children your wonderful illustrations and they love them. One of their fave movies on VHS was the rat and mole series. They were British and funny. You have that style, but, oh goodness something so your own and special. The way he was falling and the little details paired with simplicity. I love them! Keep it up! Love to see your joy. Blessings friend.
I'm speechless..(not for long!) the two of you go together like peanut butter and jam, eggs and toast, lawn and mower. Hand and hand you journey through life...I do believe you've given all of us a peek at life under your roof.
Anita...You must be having the time of your life at 330am dreaming up artwork...I can see you sneaking out of bed with crayons in hand while Rattus snores loudly...like only a Rattus could do...dreaming up wild adventures and toasting to anything that may ale him in that famous pub. I love the idea of LEFT FIELD....by the way, pop over to my auntie jacquelines blog and scroll down...you may like the art teacher I met...Mr. Rich Art.
All's well that ends well dear chaps! We salute you sirs!
Bonnie and Paisley
Clink, clink, clik, AND HERE'S TO ALL OUR MATES who waited for us and ran to our rescue! TO ANOTHER ADVENTURE....this time, on the ground!!!
There is something very attractive by the way that you write AND illustrate Nita.... yoru writing is has a special sense a humor that I just love about it and your pictures are special because they tell the story well and you have a style that is very different that much already seen it. I SO encourage you to persue yoru dreams because - YOU CAN DO THIS!*grin*
menawhile ..... I will continue enjoy see you* grow* here! Love~
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